It’s been a while since I have shared what’s been on my heart with you. I feel that I now can share what has been on my heart and hope that this will encourage you. This is a different time that we are all facing. The country is dealing with COVID-19 and our way of life has been altered. But it has caused me to think about parts of my life where I have wanted to change but haven’t taken the step to create change.

I’ve prayed over the past year for God to give me more time with my daughter Sofia. Now I had no clue how that could happen when I work a full time job, single mother, teaching, soccer and all the other extracurricular activities that come along with having a six year old child. I would have never imagined that God would answer my prayer…. in a way that I didn’t see coming. The impact COVID-19 has had on the country and in North Texas with school/day care closures it brought my life to a halt. How or what is this new norm going to look like? I would have never imagined God would give me this time that I have so desperately wanted.

Last week I had the opportunity to work remote and teach Sofia from home. I was going to spend the entire week with her from morning till evening. What was I getting myself into? Let me just say….kudos to all the mom’s that home school their kids! Now it was a transition for both of us but one that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I learned so many things about Sofia that I never knew. Things that I begin to understand about her personality and saw her beautiful spirit in a different way. To see her smile that I was teaching her and being able to cook dinner each night. Something I rarely get to do but I was given the gift of “time” back and I wasn’t going to waste a moment of it. She even said one evening ” Mom this is the best dinner! If I had money I would tip you!” I started to laugh and in that moment I haven’t laughed like that in a while.

Now don’t think that this was an easy week… I will be honest many times I thought “What did I get myself into?” But when I step back and see how one week changed my perspective and in a way my life. You see, if I am honest with you, I struggle with balance in my life. I have put my career, responsibilities, goals/aspirations before my family many times and something that I knew I had to change. If I don’t invest in Sofia, who will? Is it worth the next promotion? The next degree? If I lose out on the most precious gift God has entrusted me with and lose her…. What does it matter in the end?

I can’t get back the time that I have lost BUT I can change where I put my focus. This time that God has given me is a blessing in disguise. He was already in the background orchestrating this time for me to spend with Sofia. Isn’t it just like God to answer in His perfect timing. Maybe not in the way we wanted or asked for but His timing is always perfect.

Where are you in your life? Are you wanting a change but haven’t made that first step? Do you want to be a better mom/dad? Do you need to forgive someone who hurt you?   Do you need to change your focus? Do you need to work on self-care? Do you need to pick up the phone and make that phone call to someone who you need to just say sorry to? Where ever you are take this moment to realize that you have been given back TIME. In this turbulent time in our country we now can SLOW down and shift our focus. But YOU have to WANT to make that change. Are you ready? I know I am and excited for what doors God is going to open. I know I have to let go of somethings in order to walk in the fullness that He wants for me.

Isaiah 41:10 

“Do not fear, for I am with You; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous hand.”

I love this beautiful reminder that God is here with us. He meets us right where we are in the mess and broken parts of our life. Remember He is there with you. 

I’m sure many of you have experienced pain, loss, rejection and may have left you feeling less than enough. They could be old, new, big or small. I (Ruth) will admit I struggle with hurts from my past. At times can allow my pain to become a stronghold in my life.

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted

I recently was having a conversation with my sister Rebecca. What she said struck my heart and made me think. Her words were “Ruth, I want you to see yourself how God truly sees you.”

Talk about mic drop. My first thought was “Did she just tell me that?” I’ll admit I was a little defensive but isn’t it just like God to use others speak His truth.

Do I really know how God sees me?

Song of Solomon 4:9

With one glance at you, you have captivated my heart.

That verse moved me and in a moment God spoke to me with these words.

“I chose you. I love you. You are mine.”

Those words played over and over in my mind. That is how He sees me.

I’m His and no matter my past, the hurts, disappointments. He sees me as beautiful, chosen, loved and I am His.

I know some of you may be struggling with hurt, rejection and pain. May I encourage you today to remember who you are in Christ. He will meet you right where you are and He loves you.

This is my prayer today:

Father, we come before You thanking You for showing me how You see me. Thankful for Your love, grace, mercy and restoration in lives today. Today may we remember who we are and how You see us. You see us as beautiful, chosen, called and You set us apart for Your purpose.

I (Ruth) struggle with my thoughts, I think we all do if we are honest with ourselves. Let me explain… when I am feeling anxious, or worrying about things such as my personal life, school, friends, motherhood and then it hits me……the lies from the enemy. I will admit that I have let him get the best of my thoughts from time to time.

“Your enemy the devils prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

I was reminded that the enemy is looking to distract you, tempt you, or pull slightly off course. He’s looking to devour you. We have everything we need to defeat him. You don’t have to feel powerless, the devil is predictable.

“For everything in the world the cravings of sinful man, the lust of the eyes and the boasting of what he has and does-comes not from the Father, but of the world.”

1 John 2:16

He is coming after me today by making me want to have my needs met outside the will of God. He will put scenarios in front of me that will tempt me to crave, lust and boast. The devil wants me to fill my emptiness with an unhealthy dependence on the acceptance of others. Then he can get me focused on opinions of others ,so that I get completely distracted from deepening my relationship with Christ.

One thing that I have learned is that the devil is powerless when our minds turn to God. Temporary pleasures will never feel the loneliness inside. I have learned this the hard way in my life. I can remember the moment I felt so far away from God and wondering how in the world did I get there. I had allowed temporary pleasures to fill me. I struggled with seeking approval from others, failed relationship after relationship, trying to fill a void my career consumed me but just like God to cover me with His grace and mercy.

I had to learn to ask myself this question: “Is my attention being held by something sacred or something secret?” What is holding my attention the most is what I am worshiping. Sacred worship is all about God.

Secret worship is focused on something or someone in this world that seems so attractive on the outside but in time will leave you feeling lonely, deprived and longing for more. I (Ruth) have learned that where we pay attention matters more than we know. If we pay attention to foolish things it will change our perspective. Remember that Satan’s schemes are well thought out and target our particular weaknesses to these things:

• To increase our desire for something outside the will of God.
• To make us justify giving into weakness isn’t a big deal.
• To allow us not to think through the consequences of falling into this temptation.

Can I be honest with you and you with me? We all maybe at one time or another have been through this vicious cycle. I know I have. I have allowed emotional pain to consume me and then I begin to justify my thoughts and actions outside of God’s will.

That is why it’s important to be mindful of what is influencing us and feeding my thoughts. Ask yourself “Where am I paying attention?” What is the first thing I am paying attention to in the morning? What am I paying attention to right before I go to sleep? If I want God to be my focus, I have to give Him my thoughts. God has shown me that the enemy’s power is rendered powerless in the presence of God’s promises.

This is my prayer today: Lord, will you guard my mind and my heart. Allow me to seek You first in all things, take away any distractions that may be in my life that take my focus off you. I want my focus to be on You alone, help me when I struggle with my thoughts. May I turn to you and remember Your promises. Thank you for loving me and extending Your grace and mercy over my life. I trust You and I know that You are writing my beautiful story and I come before You expecting great things.

I (Ruth) have had my fair share of rejection. It comes in all forms, some may be in work where you didn’t get the job/promotion, with friends it can be that you grow apart and it can be in relationships. One thing that I have learned is that the enemy loves to take our rejection and twist it, to build fear in us that God doesn’t have a plan for us.

It can replace the truth we’ve trusted with hopeless lies. The enemy knows what consumes us will control us. The more we are consumed with rejection, the more he can control our emotions,thinking, and our actions.

What is a broken person to do? Praise God, seek God, look to God, experience God, learn from God, draw near to God, and take refuge in God.

Psalm 34:1

“I will praise the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips.”

The first verse really moved me when I began to read Psalm 34. (Read it again) I will praise the Lord at all times. really? Even when you don’t get the job/promotion, lose your job, loss of a relationship/marriage, when you are struggling financially you want me to praise You?

I’ve learned that it is good to acknowledge the hurt, but don’t allow it to be a permanent hindrance. For me (Ruth) how I acknowledge it is to write it down and to voice it out loud. I then can move on from the source of rejection and not allow it to shut you down in that area of life. It has already taken enough from your present. Don’t allow it to reach into your future.

That relationship didn’t work out. That doesn’t meant that you will never be loved or find love. It also doesn’t mean that you are not capable, likable and lovable.

That job promotion didn’t happen. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be other opportunities or interested companies.

Replace the negative talk or thoughts that will hold you back. Replace it with praises to God, who will deliver you. Instead of letting the feelings from this situation label me, I am going to focus o God and His promises for good things.

Psalm 34:4

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.”

Good things are coming! I know it. Today’s disappointment is making room for tomorrow’s appointment. I (Ruth) want to live in great expectation of what God is doing and is going to do in my life. I believe that God has ordained our steps and will save us the trouble of stepping into plans that aren’t meant for us.

Lamentations 3:24-26

”The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

This is hard to process when are experiencing rejection. But for many of my past rejections, I can now look back and see how God was allowing things to happen the way they did for my protection. In His mercy, He allowed this. In the mercy we find the protection.

Maybe you are in one of those situations right now….

When the opportunity didn’t come through that would have helped financially, where is the protection in that?

When a wonderful, godly man walks away, where is the protection in that?

When friends get together and forget to invite you, again where is the protection in that?

In this time of not understanding, we must simply say “God, I don’t understand this situation. But I choose to understand Your goodness to me. I thank you in advance for Your protection that is part of this rejection even when I can’t see it. I will trust You.”

Psalm 34:7

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.”

Today, I know that someone is dealing with rejection and I want to tell you that you are not alone. In this time allow God to speak to you, cling to Him and thank Him in advance for this rejection. Trust me I know it’s hard, I struggle with this as well but He has shown me that sometimes this is part of the process. God is good, He is faithful and He wants the best for us. Praise Him in all things.

Have you ever found yourself asking God why He would bring you this far just to close a door? Or have you wondered why He would give you a dream that really never went anywhere?

Some of us have experienced loss on a large scale and has left us broken before God. Some of us have experienced disappointment that has left us frustrated, doubting and lost. I [Ruth] have felt those exact emotions in different seasons, but I pray this passage will shed some light on our experiences.

Psalm 44:3 “It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; It was Your right hand, Your arm, and the light of Your face, for you loved them.”

Mostly the hard way, I’ve come to know that God’s hand in our lives doesn’t always mean that things will work as we’d like. This verse in Psalms is looking back on the journey of the Israelites under their leader, Joshua. There is victory, and loss, but God ordered each outcome exactly as they needed.

Looking at my life to this point, I can say with confidence: There are battles that I am not meant to win and there are dreams that I have that will not come true.

I have experienced God’s hand in my life with opening doors in my career, provision for my family and I have also experienced loss, pain, loneliness. Through this all I have learned not to dwell in disappointment, but to realize, just as the Psalm says, “nor did their arm bring them victory.” The win was not mine and neither was the loss. It was all a part of God’s ultimate design.

I have learned to trust Him and remember how much He loves me and fights for my heart, knowing that even a pause,door closed is in God’s perfect order in my life. Now I know some of you may think really? Yes, He has shown me that He already knew before the foundations of the earth I would be right here in this moment in my life. God sees the entire picture and every move He makes (even if makes no sense to me) comes from the depths of His love.

God may close a door, out of His love, to protect us from something that could take us further away from Him (read that again). Can we trust that He wants the best for our lives and callings?

The work and the relationships we’ve invested in are not news to God. Can we choose to recognize that a win or loss as God’s gift to give and God’s to use? My prayer is that we will see “the light of Your face, for You loved them.”

Zechariah 4:10 “Do not forsake the days of the small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see them begin.”

I (Ruth) want things to go as planned and flourish, that’s in my career, motherhood, friendships and relationships. Sometimes when it doesn’t go as planned it’s discouraging. Has that ever happened to you? You invest time into your job, family, relationships, friendships, or ministry and sometimes it doesn’t turn out how you planned.

This verse is one that I’ve been meditating on for a month. The one part I wrestled with was ” Do not forsake the day of the small beginnings.”

We all have to start somewhere right? Many of us have a dream or vision but we haven’t taken that first step to start….. so what’s holding you back from starting that dream you have? Is it fear of failure? rejection? or is it that you disqualify yourself BEFORE you even begin?

God has given us all dreams and passions. What are you doing to pursue them? When’s the last time you had a dream/goal and asked God to open the doors for it to happen? He reminded me that I have to be faithful in the small beginnings BEFORE He is going to entrust me with more.

I wrote it out “Faithful in the small” I kept asking God what does that mean? God began to stir in my heart “Ruth, it’s in every area of your life your relaahonship with me, motherhood, school, your career, family, and friendships.” I began to write out areas how I could be more faithful and slowly God showed me areas I needed to work on.

This is my question to you today, where are you? Be honest with yourself, only you know your heart. Have you given up on your passions or dreams? What’s holding you back? God wants to pour out His blessings on us and we have to come before Him expecting great things! He wants to hear from us, He longs for fellowship with His children.

My prayer for myself and you is to be faithful in the small beginnings, start where you are and ask God to guide you. He can use you right where you are, just be willing to take that first step and start.

I (Ruth) have been thinking about this phrase “Be Present” and how it applies to my life. I will admit I struggle with this part of my life at times, come on I know you do too. It’s ok to admit it….. we are human, but how can we start to change and truly be present? How many of you have ever thought, I will be content when I can slow down and I will be present when….

I get the new job.

I finish my deadline at work.

I reach my personal goals.

I get enough followers.

I pass this big test.

I buy my dream home.

I find Mr. Right.

I marry Mr. Right.

When we have this mindset, we will never truly enjoy the moment. We are always waiting for contentment to come rather than enjoying the process. But what I am learning is the to enjoy the process. Enjoy the journey, no matter what stage you are in learn to enjoy it.

Trevor Hudson describes being present:

“Being present involves letting go of our constant preoccupations, immersing ourselves in the here and now, and giving ourselves wholeheartedly to whatever is at hand…It’s about becoming more aware, alert, awake to the fullness of the immediate moment. If we are with another person, it means engaging with him or her with all our heart, out mind, our soul, and our strength. Such wholehearted attention requires patience, time, and disciplined effort. And it is one of the greatest gifts that we can give to those around us.”

This reminded me that my life here on earth is so short. I don’t want to spend time waiting for contentment to if/when something happens in my life. I don’t want to miss out on creating memories or moments with my daughter, family, and friends. I want to have a heart of gladness in the moment, being present, and I know that God wants that for us too.

Today I want to encourage you to be present. Look people in their eyes more than you look at your phone. Find the joy in the moment, and in the journey because our journey is with You.

“If Paul can sing in jail, Daniel can worship in a lions den, and Moses can find joy in the wilderness, we can too.”

Somer Phoebus

I started to think about what I (Ruth) had going on in my life and in a way started to complain and think negative thoughts. I included the quote above since it made me stop and put things into perspective.

Now Ruth, you’re issues are nothing like what Paul, Daniel, or Moses went through. Yes, in some of life’s storms, and trials I have felt desperate, longing for an answer, and sometimes powerless. Why though? I am a daughter of the King, who knows all things, He knew that I would go through the trials, loss, heartache. He already knew what He would bring me through and out of. So why do I doubt or fear what lies ahead?

Exodus 14:13 NASB^” But Moses said to the people, “Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever.”

Now, I have read this verse so many times but never really looked at key words that Moses, tells the people “Do not fear, Stand, and See.”

What in your life do you doubt or fear?

What is holding you back?

Is it that job promotion ?

Is your marriage struggling ?

Is it your child going through something?

A friendship that you need to mend?

I love this verse 2 Timothy 1:7 NASB “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. ” We don’t need to worry or allow fear to creep in. My God is bigger than what I am facing, sometimes He allows to go through the trials in order to teach us something.

Stand why did he use that word? I started to think about my daily life. After a long day of work, running errands, or running Sofia to and from soccer the last thing I want to do is stand. I mean when who else enjoys coming home and just sitting down in your favorite chair, or laying down just to relax for a few minutes.

Standing is not always easy when you are faced with a trial in your life. It’s very easy to want to just hide or look away from the issue that you are faced with. I know that I have done that several times or I just wanted to not deal with it. So what are you dealing with today?

The last word is See, how many times have you gotten impatient with God and just failed to see what He is doing in your life. I know I have, I will be 100% honest I struggle with this. I want God to answer or bring me out of a certain trial I am facing. I allow other things to become my focus and fail to stop and see what He is doing.

“Ruth, I need you to remember what I have done for you.”

“Do you remember what I brought you out of?”

This brings me to tears because God has and continues to provide and open doors that I know are ONLY by Him. He is faithful, loving, forgiving, gracious, and my loving Father. He knows what’s best for me and He knows what’s best for you as well. When you begin to doubt or allow fear to creep in remember that God has got it all under control.

Romans 8:31 NASB “If God is for us, who is against us?”