Have you considered that God is saving you from the one thing you desire so much?

Is He withholding the ONE thing that you want.

I (Ruth) will be 100% real with you today. I have asked , no I have pleaded with God to give me the desire of my heart. Now this isn’t a simple request, days, weeks, months, and years have gone by and I have learned to ask in it so many different ways.

His response , each time. “Ruth, No not now.”

I don’t deal well with the word “no.”

I have tried in my own way to approach my request in a variation of ways.

I’ve tried to pray more and seek Him in my request. I have asked others who are close to me to pray with me for my request. The second way I have tried is to “be” a better Christian because in my mind I try to rationalize if I look the part, maybe I will get what I want. ( I will admit at times I have counted on the praise of others in my life more than the praise from God.)

One thing I realized…..

God is not here to grant my wishes so that I can be fulfilled or have a better life. We can’t use God or make a “wish” list of all the things we want.

I started to think about this, we can make anything an idol. Our job, relationships, money, our kids, or even a ministry that God has put on our hearts. Any “good” things can be come idols.

We can’t forget that when God isn’t number one in our lives, we become vulnerable to the enemy.

I had a relationship end and started to question why God, I am serving you, I am seeking more each day, why did you allow this to happen? Then I started to think His delay may be protection over my life, even more so the calling He has on my life.

If have to force our dream or desire, then it’s possibly that is is something that we want more than God wants for us.

As this month of April comes to a close, and a new month is about to begin. I started to reflect on the last 30 days and a lot of things were on my heart. The first thing that I thought about was how God’s hand has been on my life and my daughter’s. He has provided for us in countless ways from school for Sofia and myself, my parents who care for Sofia while I attend class in the evenings, family support, health, my career, and so much more.

How have I shown my gratitude? This resonated with me as I really started to look and see how many opportunities I have missed out on sharing my gratitude, or even voicing it to the ones who mean the most to me. Now, I don’t want anyone reading this to think that I have it all together and my life is perfect. Let me be the first to say, I struggle with many things and it’s only God’s grace and mercy on my life that I get through each day.

Now, my title says ” In all things be grateful” in the good and bad God wants us to come before Him and give thanks. How can I thank Him for the struggles, trials, and hurts in my life? I mean let’s be real…. how can I thank Him for my struggles in motherhood, in school, personally and when I feel all alone. At that moment, I was reminded that in those times, He wants to hear from me. I can just pour out my heart, my deepest fears, concerns, and even with of all the mistakes I make daily He still loves me just as I am. That is the AMAZING thing about God, He just takes me as I am and wants to mold me into the mother, student, and woman He wants me to be.

As this day ends and a new month is upon us , I want you to think about challenging yourself in writing down or voicing 3 things that you are grateful for each day. It can be anything….. nothing it too big or small. You can write it out, type it in your memo pad in your phone, or however you want to keep track. Now 3 things you are grateful for 31 days = 93 for the month of May. Then at the end of the month you can see how God carried you through each moment the good, struggles and in all things we can be grateful.  I hope that you will be encouraged and reflect on how much we have to be grateful for.

Let me leave with this  verse:

1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you.”

Sorry I have been a little MIA, between work, school, and Sofia it’s been a little hectic. So you may be thinking odd title? Or what is this going to be about. Let me give you some background on this, I promise it will make sense.

I don’t like to admit this, so I am being  100% honest when I tell you I struggle in how I respond to others. Let me give you an example that involves my sister Rebecca. She would call me or coukd ask me a question and my response would be “what?” And in not the best tone either. This is not something I am proud of and even worse I struggle with it time to time.

A few months ago Rebecca brought it to my attention and it bothered me. I wanted to know why I responded like that towards her. Did she upset me? No Was it something I didn’t want to hear? No….so why am I responding in a negative and unloving way? I was listening to Joyce Meyer one of my favorite speakers and a teaching resonated with me. I am allowing my emotions to lead. Woah? Anyone who knows me well….knows I am a very emotional person. It’s a good and bad thing. Am I allowing my responses to others to be led by  my emotions? My emotions change every day sometimes several times. Do I want to be known as someone who is unkind, or rude? NO…. so I started to examine my heart. In Joyce’s teaching her challenge was to “choose how you will respond, it’s your choice on how you respond.” Don’t allow your emotions to take over, it can lead you down a destructive path.

I started writing down how certain situations make me feel….there it is feelings can change so quickly. How can I make small changes? Trust me this is more difficult than you think at least for me. I have begun to ask God to show me when I am going to respond, BEFORE I begin ask myself. Will this be kind? How will my tone be? I have to really work at this in some instances with my family, my 3 year old and friends.

So this is my question to you, do you struggle in how you respond to others? Can someone make you so angry or influence your mood? Be honest with yourself….if so I encourage you choose how you are going to respond. Don’t repond out of anger, frustration, it’s easy to lose your temper. Next time your faced with a difficult situation, person think “Am I responding based on how I feel?” So… How will you choose to respond?

Sorry I have been away work and school have been keeping me pretty busy. I wanted to catch up from where we left off. Last time I had issued a challenge to everyone who wanted to participate on #BePresentChallenge. Some of you reached out and said that in your own lives you were going to challenge yourself in different areas.

So, how did you do? Were you able to put away your phone and be present 100%? What did you struggle with? These are some questions I want you to think about. Be honest with yourself, and this is going to be where I am 100% honest with you. It was very hard for me to even do the challenge, let me walk you through my struggles with this challenge. I will admit I failed, and this is not anything that I am proud of. Remember when I told you my sister called me out, well did she ever in this challenge. She had my mom be my accountability partner, and let me tell you every time my mom was right there to call me out. At one point I even got upset and tried to deviate from my own personal challenge and got upset that she was pointing out my shortcomings. Why should I be upset? Didn’t I challenge myself to be intentional on being present?

The challenge was pretty straightforward for me, put my phone away and only way to use it was by someone calling me. Let me be honest, most of my friends don’t call, they text me. I lasted one day…..then on day two I tried to justify why I was on my phone, I will admit I didn’t have the right attitude when my mom just pointed out I was not following the guidelines that had been set. Why should I even be upset at my mom? She didn’t do anything but what I asked her to, help hold me accountable. Why did I respond in that manner? I took some time to think about my behavior and wanted to share with you what I am dealing with.

I struggle with wanting to be in the know all the time, who just posted on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and I started thinking why is any of this relevant? The world won’t stop if I don’t know what others are doing. Have I allowed this behavior to slowly creep into my life and in some ways consume me? What do I gain from it? Moreover what am I losing out on, this was a hard reality to come to face with. I started to dig deep into my life and ask myself is my phone,social media becoming more of a distraction and I am merely wasting time that I can never get back. The answer is YES, not that I wanted it to be but I am being brutally honest and this is something that I know I have to work on in my own life.

What is taking up your time? Is it building you up? or is it like most people we are too caught up in things that will not matter tomorrow, but we continue to neglect those around us such as our families, children, and friends. I am not saying that no one should have a phone , or be on social media but do we really need to be on it all day long? This verse came to mind “You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a midst that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:14

This really hit home for me, tomorrow is not promised with my daughter and I don’t want my life to be consumed with distractions that don’t allow me to see what is the most important thing in my life. I need to be present to show God’s love to my daughter, to spend time with her so she knows I value her and love her. To make memories with her that she will remember, this is what I want to spend my time in. What distractions do you have in your life?

Is there something that you can give less time to? In the end I have allowed time to pass that I can never get back, but the great thing is I can CHANGE. Each day is a NEW day where I can give myself goals and make a plan to achieve them. Who is ready to start over and make the most of each day we are given? I know I am and it’s going to be process but one that will be well worth it. Let me leave you with one of my favorite quotes “You can learn a lot from your mistakes, when you aren’t busy denying them.” It’s OK to have areas in your life you need to work on, the main thing is to be able to admit it to yourself, and once you can do that then you can begin to change.

I’ll admit I struggle with being present when I get home after a long day at work. Let’s be honest how many of you can’t put your phone down, checking social media sites, texting friends, or checking email. I’ve been guilty saying ” I just want time to myself I just need 5 minutes.” I remember saying this in frustration and my sister Rebecca responded in the most honest manner “Ruth you’ve lost that privilege, you have a kid and she’s your priority.”

Now that’s not the response I wanted to hear and I’ll admit it angered me inside, I was frustrated that my own sister didn’t agree with me. I’m guilty of throwing around this phrase” you don’t understand me or what I’m dealing with.” Trying to justify my behaviors or to get someone to in essence to feel bad for me and join in on my pity party.

Let’s be honest we all get frustrated, stretched thin with work, family, other responsibilities but it’s the way we respond that’s the key component. I wish I could say I have it all together and respond in the right way but I don’t. I’m guilty of being selfish, not being 100% present for my daughter and sometimes not aware I’m missing out on moments. I’ll share my most recent experience I’ve had with Sofia.

After a long day at work, I came home to make dinner, feed her, now I did what I normally do try to get comfortable and pick up my phone. This is my time to check social media, post on instagram, text, and why not I’ve completed my mom duties right? Sofia says in her sweet little voice “Mom will you put your phone down, please?” She’s noticing that I am not present, she doesn’t have my full attention. I put it down and start to play or sing with her. I got her ready for bed, and I couldn’t stop thinking am I really oblivious to what my actions are saying to my daughter.

I don’t want to be that mom that misses out on moments with my child, because I’m looking down at my phone. Or notgiving her my full attention that she longs and craves for. Now if a 3 year old notices, I’m sure adults notice when I am not present right? Let’s be honest we all struggle with this Right? Or is it just me? I’d like to think I’m not the only one going through this.

So this is where the ” Be present challenge” comes into play. This is an idea from my sister Rebecca just yesterday as we were messaging back and forth last night. I know what you’re thinking……Sofia was already in bed asleep.

I told her about me starting my blog back up and she just kept it real with a text…calling me out in the best way a sister knows how to. Come on  I know if you have sisters or you have a close friend that keeps you in check  too. “When you’re home put your phone down, that’s my challenge to you.” Now if any you know me I’m competitive person by nature, I don’t like to lose so my little sister thinks I can’t put my phone away? In my mind I’m saying ” I’ll show her, you want to call me out?”

Then her response is ” if you decide to take me up on it, let me know so I can tell mom.” My quick reply back “challenge accepted.” Then my sister’s text back is “Good, start tomorrow. It ends on Saturday morning. So I expect you to give a thoughtful, reflective post over the weekend. Remember that includes getting frustrated by it, which I’m sure you will by Tuesday :)” Now the challenge I’ve accepted but I really have to do what I say I’m going to do. Put my phone away when I get home and 100% attention is on Sofia and spending quality time with her.

So this is my struggle disconnecting from my phone, and I’m challenging myself this week to change my behavior. I’ll be honest I know it’s not going to be easy, I know I’ll want to give in, but this is a behavior I have to conquer. I don’t want to look back and regret not being present for my child. She longs for my attention, affirmation, love and it’s my job to be there 100% with no distractions.

Its about to get real for some of you…. be honest with yourself. This is my challenge to you, if you struggle with the same thing or in different areas maybe it’s TV, being over committed in extra curricular activities etc. Try to disconnect and spend quality time with your children, husband, or family. What if you simply put away the phone in my case, what can you gain? What are you willing to give up for the sake of your children, husband, or family? When is the last time they have had your full undivided no interruption Attention?

This is a 5 day Challenge should you choose to accept it. Im going to write in a journal about my experience this week ans share with you how it went for me and im going to be brutally honest on how i did. I look forward to seeing if any of you accept my 5 day Challenge. I’ll be using this hash tag #BePresent when I’m referring to how I’m doing.

Whose in? I can’t wait to see who is going to join in the challenge and what we can learn from one another.

Let me start of by introducing myself. My name is Ruth De Luna, I am a single mother to an energetic keep my on my toes 3 year old daughter named Sofia. I work full time, full time student, trying to balance it all oh and did I mention Sofia just started pre-k3 this year.

I’ll admit at times I just want to throw my hands up, wave a white flag and just give up. No one told me it would be this hard or did i just think being a mom would come easy? I guess I had this unrealistic idea of what being a mom is, all that it entails. My mom made it look easy, she held it all together with all of us. How did she do it? I find myself at my wits end at times and I only have 1 child. To think at one time I wanted 6, who was I kidding?

This is a journey that I have had tears of joy, sadness, discouragement and in the middle of it all I am thankful for God’s grace, mercy, and love for me. This is where I’m going to be 100% honest I’m just trying to figure out how to be the best mom I can be to Sofia. I admit I struggle with her as she is very strong willed, totally opposite of me when I was a child. It’s God’s sense of humor I think at times, I know that I can’t do this alone. Only with God’s guidance will I become a better mother, understand how to mold her and show her God’s love.

I will share with you some of my personal moments in my life so you understand how I have gotten to this point in my life. God brought me out of the pit I was in, I was just longing for more and felt so empty. My story is one of grace, redemption, restoration, and I know He is still working to mold me into the woman, mother, student He wants me to be. I look forward to sharing my journey through stories with you and getting to know you.

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